Off to Madison

good morning. i am off to madison this bright and sunny morning. I am really excited to go to the certified natural training course!!!!

lovin life,

alexandra jaye

Day 93 – 14 days till show!

Where I am..I am good.. I feel a bit tired right now.. I am planning on getting to bed really early tonight, as I have a training workshop all day tomorrow.. I can’t believe that in 2 weeks I will be in California doing a show. I have come so far in my training in my mind and in my body. There is always room for improvement and I am really seeing that as I progress and become more aware. It isn’t the way a lot of woman look at their bodies, like ooh my gosh I hate my legs, I hate this and I hate that… It is just more of a loving space, I am just seeing the body as a work of art. I have always desired to be an artist, this is just the way that I will express myself creativity, it is like designing a masterpiece!! And, it is good for me too! How can you beat that?

Diet – salt water, orange and green drink (your my everything greens and water)

shake – one of my better ones

pear

Apricot rawfoodbar 120 calories

Essential Light with Almond Milk and 6 Brazilian Nuts

StirFry with some snow peas, onions, garlic, mushrooms, dulce and a dash of olive oil and 1/4 c of pinto beans

Workout – am functional training in the gym with abs

pm - jogging and 10 sprints

Body- Feels awesome today. I got a colonic today… My stomach felt a bit upset afterwards in the afternoon. And, I had to end my workout because my stomach was just feeling up to the workout. BUT…WoW I love to sprint there is something about that I love!! It is such a rush for me… I know I am going to feel a lot better from the colonic tomorrow.  My body always thanks me when I get the extra garbage out of there – and yes we do all have it in there! I felt really strong in my morning workout and in my energy levels today.

Mind- I started off today with an awesome conference call that was just delightful!! It is a great way to start the day… I also went to the gym this morning and I just had this intense warrior attitude when I was in there… I left feeling confident.. I just really am in tune with my body and where I want to go with it!! I felt strong in my mind, and it leads my body to feel happy. There is a huge correlation between our mind and our body!! 

Soul – My soul is just wanting to be who I am, and calling me to trust who I am, and that I will be successful, peaceful and I happy doing what I love to do.. I am finding out what I truly want to do. It is all coming together and it just makes me smile on the inside…. I am excited to spend time with this community that is being created right now.. It is a beautiful world we live in!

I am feeling… peaceful and confident

Magic, Miracles, and Serendipitous Moments…. I got an email that Michael Beckwith from Agape in LA was going to be on Larry King. Beautiful it was right up my alley!! I also got an email for a conference call invite to listen to Marc Allen and he is so passionate and lives a life full of joy, ease and peace…. I  found a penny today, a good luck penny!!

I am grateful for… email, my uniqueness, for my passion and for my life

Final thought for today…  I just an excited calmness inside of me. I am excited about training up at Monkey Bar Gym tomorrow and also to go to the Co-OP and get a green juice! I am delighted in the simple things…..

Day 92 – I am thankful.

Where I am…I can’t believe that I have been recording for 92 days. Wow that is pretty impressive. Keeps me on top of what needs to be done, what I have been doing, what is working and what is not working.. I feel like a whole lot is working and then I also feel like a whole hell of a lot is not working…. I am listening to Sara McLaughlin right now… I enjoy her words, you can feel her emotion through the songs…. I get that this woman has loved deep and she has also experienced deep pain….. Words on fire is what I am listening to…  

Diet – Apple and Greens Drink

Shake

Tonic with apple cider, honey, and lime

Salad with zucchini, sesame seeds, pear, onions, olives and olive oil and vinegar with spinach. Random but good!

Green Juice

Pineapple

Workout – am 45 minutes of yoga and meditation

 pm 45 minutes elliptical and 5 50 yard sprints

Body- I was tired this morning. I woke up a bit late, and my eyes felt tired this morning.. What else, I feel like everything is balancing out in my body now and I am getting over the little down-slide I was having. I think that it just takes the body a bit to find it’s balance when you are really looking to transform your body for a competition or just for anything. There has been needing some healing with my body and I just think I am getting there just maybe not on my timeline….

Mind - I was proactive today. There were some things that were bothering me today in my life, and I really just didn’t let my fear overtake me and I just got them done. It is empowering to really have integrity and do what you say your going to do, and just be in action, rather than just not knowing or not doing….. I also am honestly feeling a bit hesitant about writing this blog about my personal life…. I have been having weird experiences with someone that I went to high school with and it is creeping me out actually and tonight was over the line for me… I feel that I want to be able to express myself and also be able to support other people in their lives, struggles, and be able to talk openly about them…. just a bit hesitant and a bit weirded out today about the thought of some people reading this…

Soul – There is such goodness in our souls. I can see it in people’s eyes. It is like when I am working out and just really getting into my workout, I connect to that essence of who I am. My mind stops, and my body is just connected, and I am in this amazing space. I also get that we are going to have highs and lows, somedays I may feel amazing and some days I may not feel that great. Which these things are all part of human emotion, but you can still be unhappy and peaceful. I am seeing in my own life, that these emotions and thoughts are not me… That it serves me none to really let them run my life.. It is an interesting way of living my life, but one that I am realizing is one well worth the exploration.  That life is becoming just one big adventure no matter what I am doing… Yes, I do have a purpose, passions, and things I enjoy doing, but I can also see that there is a sense of divinity in everything if that is where your intention is. Everything has to do with your intention… It is a powerful world we live in, and this soul of mine hasn’t even been connected to it in the amount that I know is possible!

Magic, Miracles, and Serendipitous Moments…. I got an email today that made me laugh…..he always makes me smile! I finally got to talk to Lena in California… We created a partnership, not sure how it is going to look yet, but it is being created. yea, can’t wait. I was looking for something for my business and I found it instantly…. What else… Something happened serendipitously, random and a bit freaky so I am not going to express it here tonight….

I am feeling….. intentional, focused and also extremely grateful for so many things. Often times we can get overwhelmed with the lack with the limitation with the things that we don’t have, and today I just got really present to all the things that I am thankful for. I mean if our basic needs are being met, we have food, we have shelter, and water, clothes to wear, we are ok. We don’t need all the toys, the latest this and that, granted there is nothing wrong with having those, but there is something to be grateful always.. Something simple as hot water. Today I took a shower and thought you know some people don’t even have a shower, and let alone hot water…. Then it brings taking a shower to a whole new level, where you are grateful and present to all that goes into –  YOU having that shower..!! There is so much we miss..

I am grateful….. I guess I just wrote about it up there… Grateful for life and opportunities, and possibilities and the beauty of creation.

Final thought for today…..My final thought for today is that… The power of now, the present is all we have. I have heard this so many times… But, I am getting it on a whole new level… I am really being able to disassociate what I do with who I am. It leaves more space for me to create… I also just feel a deep sense of allowing. That my mind has been fighting a battlefield in my mind for years. My body was tired, it was hurting, and I didn’t allow it there was always another something to do, another award to get, another game to play. I always was feeling like I needed to retreat and take care and I didn’t and I didn’t.. I feel like I have done that in a sort of a way. And, that this is a very tender time for me and that there is nothing wrong with that, I don’t have to be the Master of the universe taking it all on right now.. just being gentle, loving right now might just be enough… allow, allow, allow… I am tired and I want to get to bed so I can do yoga tomorrow morning!

Lots of love, grace, and abundance to all. xx ~ aj

Day 91 – I am back on track

Where I am… I am really feeling that I am back on track. I had two great workouts today, and a good diet plan. I got my suit today too. Yea. It is beautiful. WoW I can’t wait to wear it! I am nervous and excited all in the same breath. But, just have this burning desire to really do this right, what I mean by right is to really go there with just being proud and happy that I have come so far and that I am up on that stage. Also, realizing that this is the start of something that I really want to give my all too. It is about looking good of course it is. But this really for me is about a personal goal this is about pushing my body to new limits, and it is about connecting with myself on a totally different level… I have had glimpses of this bliss but I desire to live in this space, always room for improvement!

Diet – green drink and apple

shake

almonds 15 and vegetable juice

Tonic Drink

Pinto Beans, Raw Sauerkraut and E3 Live Shot

Pineapple and a Green drink with chlorophyll

Workout am 20 stairmaster and 25 elliptical trainer

pm Functional training with jumping jacks, pushups, jump squats, abs, and jump rope

Body – My body felt great today. I had a bit of a lull about 2 pm today in my energy, but other than that I felt strong. I felt strong in both of my workouts. Although I didn’t eat that much today. I am seeing that as long as you get what the body needs you don’t need all that filler food! I am thrilled. I haven’t checked my weight, just haven’t been in the best place to really check it lately! My neck is really tight tonight too, it is in my neck and my shoulders causing a mild tension headache.

Mind – I am movtived on a whole new level today. I really see the possiblity of being in action and being clear of where I am going. If your not clear you just bounce here and you bounce there always hoping that you might get somewhere that somehow it happen. What I can see is that I have had this dream to be a cover model and to be a professional fitness competitor/athlete for years now. It was always a wish, a dream, and now I can see a plan as to how I can make that happen, it invigorates me.

Spirit – It is amazing that I can really connect to me, when I am in a healthy place in my head… When I eat well, and workout and get all the bodily functions working effectively I am just there, it is a lot easier to just be in the moment. That is what I felt like today…. Every once in awhile a thought will come in and I will take it mean truth and it will take me right back to my head, running and spinning. When I breathe and focus on my heart life is easy!

I am feeling…. Motivated, on track and a bit of nervousness!

Magic, Miracles, and Serendipitous Moments…. My mom can’t do her massage next week so she gave me her appointment.. YES in perfect timing! I really need it for my neck. I got an awesome email from Masha with the story about that amazing father!! I got my suit, it is so beautiful!!! The neighbors came over in their costumes today. Oh my what a delight, makes me want to have one… for a minute or two It really just inspired me to check out big brother and big sister organization because there are so many kids in need, and I always loved being a part of that program in college!

I am grateful for…. friends, family, dreams, green juice, healing and positive energy..

Final thought for today.. I feel like today was a productive day. Each day we either take a step closer to our dreams or take a step back, or don’t move at all. I feel like today was a check for the made progress day!! Every moment I want to live like it is the best moment of my life…. I want to have the best day ever everyday!!!! I am lovin it! xx

Power of the human spirit! wow!

As I sit here at the computer….. Tears are rolling down my face…. I am so moved, and so touched in a way that I can not even begin to convey in the written word. I am inspired by the beauty of love and the beauty of humanity.

Take 5 minutes and check out this team of father and son who have done 212 Triathlons and four 15 hour Ironman Races!!

If there is ever another doubt or fear that I can’t accomplish any of my dreams. All I need to do is watch this video, and see the power of the human spirit and know that there is a way for anything and everything….

This will be one of the most touching 5 minutes beyond what you might expect! I promise… Go Watch Now!

Day 90 – Could Miss Doubt please step down.

Where I am…..Where I am is realizing that Miss Doubt has been running my life. I have given her permission to run my life the last few days or the last week on and off I have allowed her control. No offense but she needs to take a step down, I have been worshipping her like she is a Queen. Not to conducive when your wanting to live a powerful, intentional, magical life! So, I am going to create a name for her tonight. She is going to be yeah I like “Miss Dolly Doubt” That is going to be her name. So, whenever I feel she is taking over, I am going to ask her to take a seat. LOL! Have I lost it…. Hey my experience is you have to do what you have to to create the energy, the experience, the space that you want to live in… So, that is what I am doing and sharing my split personalities with you all to read! Life is grand isn’t it?

Diet- My diet today was a bit of this and a bit of that, fruit in the morning and then I had some live granola, then I had some nuts, 2 raw food bars, green drink, then I had some hmmm some organic yes organic chocolate chips…. oops.. then I had some catfish! I think that was my day. No structure just sort of lost the structure. So, what I am going to create right now is a plan for the next 18 days that I have before contest!!

I am up at 6 am to workout! Have a green drink first thing in the morning.

8:00 Piece of fruit and tonic

10:00 Shake

1:00 Salad

3:00 Fruit

Green Drink and or Vegetable Juice before workout at 4:30-5:30

6:00 Salad or Vegetables and Avocado or something light and clean

This gives me enough freedom to choose for lunch and dinner what I will have in my salad. But, this is what I am going to follow for 18 days. To workout 2-3 hrs a day and to nourish my body 7 times throughout the day. This seems like a great plan! I feel empowered around this plan!

Body - My head hurts, my shoulders are really really tight, causing me to have a tension headache. It is amazing what the mind can then be manifested in the body. It is also from too much sugar. Like I have said my body doesn’t work well with too much sugar bottom line. I am learning the hard way that is for sure.

Mind- My mind was awesome this morning. Funkdafied this afternoon and then rejuvenated tonight. I am back on target and back on purpose and I feel good in where I am going. I really got clear tonight on who I am and what that calls me to do in the world. I feel like I love fitness but I also love the hippy lifestyle. There isn’t a lot of that in the fitness world. But, I am going to just do what I want to do, take what I want, create with a bit of this and a bit of that, and give it my own AJ Flava! yeah baby…..

Soul – When my mind is clear and free, the soul comes out to play. This is what I am learning!! This is where the magic happens in the soul. When we are living from our heart. My intention is to be the best woman that I can be. To live consciously to really create my life, to raise the awareness to live on purpose whatever that is for me right now. To go for it! I am in the space tonight of Why Not? Why not do all of these things!

I am feeling..empowered, inspired, and in love!!! ooooh my there is this man who is just so delicious in my life right now…… yummy yummy!! That is all I am going to say is that I am in love, he is heaven here on earth!!!

Magic, Miracles and Serendipitous Moments..I was on a call today and was stating who I was, and out of nowhere Savage (my brothers dog) jumped on me and barked. LOL! I guess he wanted to say hello to!! I got a divine email from a lovely friend, he is just sheer goodness! Umm I got present to the love in my life on an intense level. I got some great coaching today around how to communicate with two people in my life!! I happened to check out Steve Pavlina’s Blog today and got a dose of what I needed to hear today…. PERFECT!

I am grateful for…Love, abundance, laughter, personal development tools, coaching, and the awakening of humanity.

Final thought for today….I live an amazing life. I am always learning, I am always growing, and this is the time for me to be in massive action. No more hiding in ways that I have done before. This blog has been a great way for me to connect with people about who I am on a deeper level, it also has been a way of allowing myself a creative outlet to express myself that I have been hiding for years! I feel free and self expressed tonight, and thrilled about my magical life….

Conscious Revolution

This blog, this journal, my life is what Steve Pavlina is talking about in his article today.

I really enjoy reading his blog. I enjoy it because I come from the same place! I agree with most things that he says, and the way that he is living his life. This man is all about personal development and conscious living. I aspire to be as bold, courageous and purposeful as he is with his life!

This is where I am at the cross roads, I feel the awakening pull. I feel that there is a greater pull for me to awaken others. I have felt this for years now… That there was more to life, that there was more than what we see… I just thank Steve for really sharing his life and his experiments with us….

EnJoy the article and your day!

Love,

Miss Alexandra Jaye

The moments of Silence

In the moments of silence where do you go?? Do you even have silence in your world to really answer that question?? I am often amazed at people running around like little hummingbirds doing this and doing that, and if they aren’t doing that they are watching tv to tune out… We are all so busy “doing” something. Yes, I think that action is awesome, and has so much life to it….

But there is so much to the depths of the silence that we rarely go to.. As I sit in an empty house…. with the sound of me typing on the computer… But without these sounds, without the computer for stimulation…. I am alone. Is it loneliness that I feel? Is it fear? Is it aloneness? What creeps into me when I am not doing, when I am silent…. There is a part of me that fears yet craves this part of life… I want alone time, yet often times when I spend too much time along, I get weird, I get distance, and I isolate myself from the world into a darker world….

This darker world.. I wish I knew how to explain it… I am seeing that we all have the darkness and we all have the light. It is exposing those shadows of our life that gives us freedom… Do we have to know what the shadows are? I think no not specifically we just need to be open to experience the emotions..

Do you ever have the feeling come over you of being so angry you could punch something, or just feel a volcano of tears inside that are dying to erupt. Yet, we suppress these emotions. We are not allowed to feel them. This is the darkness that I am writing about.. We all have it.. We all walk around with these emotions tied so tight around our throat we can barely breathe. Does it ever get too much? Do we ever get to the point where we just lose it and dive into the unknown of those emotions….

What does that look like…. For me I see it as just going to that place where the anger, sadness, fear resides and just being with it. Don’t try to control it, don’t make it wrong, just let it be, and let whatever comes out come out. If you are real, loving and authentic with yourself no harm will be done in this space. It is just releasing…..

This releasing, this deep meditative work that often comes in the moments of silence…. As I feel it in me, I want to numb myself, I don’t want to dive into the shadows… But, I can see the more that I don’t go for it, the more that I don’t indulge in the sweetness of the silence, the more it shows up as highs and lows in my life..

When I am high, I am high. When I am low, I am low…. Can there be a balance?? To clean house and let it all out. This is who I am and this is where my pain is… Soon as we bring our non judgmental awareness to it, then it seems to fade into nothing.. What a beautiful space to be in nothing.. Yet fearful because we are attached to the way that we have felt, we are addicted to how we have acted, how we have coped with the world, it is our identity…

Sometimes I love to be alone and sometimes I hate to be alone. For me being alone sometimes calls me to go to the silence. There is a pull there is an restlessness, an uneasiness. If I don’t work with it, I go into what I have always done, that means go to the cupboard and see what there is to eat!! I am becoming so aware I can just see it and feel it happening… It is a great awareness that I have developed….

With the awareness is the naked truth that lies in front of me to go to silence, to work through these emotions and rise above and beyond what I have always done! If there is a call for a new way of life, there is a call for a new way of living….

Off to do some meditation work……  

Day 89 – Started off great…

Where I am… I am wondering if I have even made any progress today. I am just not really feeling like in 89 days that is almost 13 weeks that I have been on this journey to get ready for the contest, that I have made the changes I had desired. I just feel like my competition spirit is dwindling, like I am hitting a burnout. Not a great sign before I leave for Hollywood in 2 weeks!! I started off today good. I slept in, I went and did an awesome workout at the track. And, did my thing. Then this afternoon, I didn’t create a schedule and I didn’t motivate myself to do what needed to be done today around my projects, which led me to be lazy, which led me to be lazy in my diet too, it is a whole state of mind…

Diet – apple and mango

raw banana bread

3 olives, e3 live shot, and greens drink

Spelt Tortillas with a bit of jam and almond butter

Fiber and Kashi cereal with almond milk

3 dates  and apple juice

Workout – An hour at the track. Who ever said you needed a gym. I ran about 2 miles on the track running, doing high knees, shuffles, and butt kicks, running backwards, then I went and did some stairs, and jump rope and then yoga. It was an AWESOME workout in the sun, it was a beautiful day!

Body – My body just feels OK! I don’t feel totally healthy in my body. The zits on my face are a sign that my liver/colon is not functioning properly! I have had a slight headache for most of the day too. I think that it was being at the bar with the smoke, it creates a lot of mucous and just leaves me feeling stuffy. I really can’t stand to be around smoke!! I felt strong in my workout though, and it was an intense hour.

Mind- My mind started off great, I was on it, I was working out, eating good, feeling good. Then as the day went on, I just wasn’t really motivated and I got tired, and just sort of lost that zone that I got when I was working out. I also I am just working through this halfway mark!! Getting ready for the show and then also knowing that there is still a lot of work to be done. I am not sure why that is even on my mind because this is what I want to do, I mean it isn’t like I am going to stop eating and working out the way that I am now. So, really there is no need to worry about how long it takes me to get to my goal, it is all a trial and error. Just dealing with the thoughts of I should be there already, and I wish I was there already, and what am I going to do when I do get there.. LOL!! My mind was running me this afternoon.

Soul – I feel that my deep purpose and passion is spirituality, organic and green living, fitness, raw food and organic foods, beauty, mind body mastery, sexuality, personal development, empowerment, art and entertainment, music, and creativity.. I feel these things represent me.. This is where I want to spend most of my time in my life. This gives me great joy in my heart when I write or speak about these things….. So many things are there to create deep in my heart. Just patience as I learn, grow and prosper in the ways that are needed for them to manifest!! yea!

I am feeling…today I was feeling empowered, peaceful, angry, unconscious, and conscious, hopeful, positive, and lazy

Magic, Miracles and Serendipitous Moments…I was going to go the gym thought it was open till 12pm, not so much closed at 10. So, anyways had a jump rope in my car and thought you know what I will go to the track and do a track workout, I haven’t done one of these at all in my training. It was an INCREDIBLE day for this workout too. WoW! The fun felt good on my face, and I was inspired to really push hard. The old saying when one door closes ( the fitness gym) another one opens the beautiful track! If we are just open anything and everything is available to us, if we are not attached to having it be how we think it should be!!!!

I am grateful for… Heat – since it is a bit chilly here at night, it is nice to be warm. I am grateful for the sun. I am grateful for grass and for mother nature. I am grateful for alone time.. I am blessed

Final thought for today… I am really getting the mind mastery way of life. That we are either controlled by our mind or we control our minds. It is work, it can be a challenge. But I can see the benefits of it in my own life. I know that I do much better when I create my world how I want to live, and then just do what needs to be done. If I give the mind time to think….. it just creates a muck for me to run around in… I can see the benefit of constantly putting good thoughts into my head, and then the power of mediation emptying all of the garbage that we accumulate in our heads that we think is true…. The way we are wired is just such a phenomenon….. I love the mystery of the world!

Tesla Roadster

So, I have found my next car!

The Tesla Roadster is a new and beautiful electric car (100% electric)  for only $100,000.00!!

I think I am in love!!!!